This is your LIFE!

How to really LIVE

Recognising your Sphere of Influence

Recent psychology research shows that when you are influential – or at least when you believe you have a decent amount of influence on the people around you – you tend to be happier. Researchers, Drs. Sommer and Bourgeois from Baruch College and Florida Gulf Coast University, clearly showed that the more influential you feel you are, the greater your overall subjective well-being (http://bit.ly/nFTedf). Being influential leads to a sense of worth, feeling in control and a belief that life is purposeful.  Thus, thinking of yourself as influential leads to well-being or happiness. 

 

So if you want to increase your levels of happiness and life satisfaction, how about working on either (1 increasing your influence on those around you, or (2 increasing your awareness of just how much influence you DO already have?

Popular business coach Robin Sharma is famous for saying “we are all leaders, whether we know it or not, and whether we have a title or not”. Most of us do not even begin to comprehend the level of influence we have on the people around us, and the level of impact we can have on our immediate circle of friends / family / loved ones / colleagues, and how that impact can radiate out into the wider world. “Social network” studies have also been conducted on the effects of attitude changes in one person, and how those effects travel from one person to another, often up to three or four ‘degrees of separation’, almost like a virus. So if Johhny becomes very upbeat and positive for a week, his cousin Mark will be more like this too, and pass it on to his girlfriend Nina who also passes it on to her work colleagues, etc.

Given the above, how about trying out a simple exercise. Stop for a moment, get yourself a pen and paper (or a Word document!). Start writing a list of everyone in your ‘inner circle’ – i.e. those you would want at your wedding, those closest to you. And think about their lives, what they are struggling with at the moment, the weaknesses they have, the encouragement they might need. Think about how you could contribute more and better to their lives, and how you could use your closeness to really benefit them. Next, move to your outer circle, and start listing the people who you know but may not be so close to. This will take much longer, so it may be easier to just think about them rather than write them all down. Go through your phone contacts, Facebook friends, and email contacts – that should be a pretty comprehensive overview.

You will probably find you will have 20-40 people in your ‘inner circle’, and 100 – 300 in your outer. How is that for numbers? By sheer volume alone, you can’t deny that no matter who you are or what your position is in life, soceity, the world, YOU HAVE INFLUENCE. If you dramatically changed your behaviour, it is GUARANTEED to have an impact and an influence on the world around you. Everyone has a certain degree of influence – and remember, influence is not all about being able to tell people what to do. It’s about the living reality that if you change your behaviour, or attitude, other people NOTICE and will be affected, whether they want to be or not.

Think about how much influence you have. What potential you have! With great power comes great responsibility. Make a decision today to become more aware, and more proactive, in the way you live and operate in relation to the people around you. You might just be surprised by the effect you can have on your world – and the increased levels of satisfaction, purpose and meaning you can experience as a result 🙂

– Quinton

Key to Happiness: Give Yourself Permission!

Perseverance & Unrewarded Genius

Here is an inspiring short thought from business and leadership guru Robin Sharma. Ever had a time when it seemed that no matter how much effort you put into doing something (and doing it well), obstacles constantly blocked your path? Has life – personal or business – ever simply seemed too difficult? Maybe for you that time is now. “Why me?” we ask. “After all I’ve done, now this?” Here’s some encouragement and inspiration to get back to a perspective of perseverance.

–          Quinton

Guts. Boldness. Bravery. Perseverance. Big, beautiful words. That any great person+leader+entrepreneur needs to tattoo onto their brain cells.

Success is much more about staying true to your vision in the face of challenges/obstructions than being gifted or expressing some kind of Genius.

I’d rather have average talent with a fierce heart that inspires me to be unstoppable versus being brilliant – but frightened to do anything with it.

Here’s a quote from Calvin Coolidge that makes my point 1000X better than I could. I hope it helps you Be Great:

“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; there is nothing more common in the world than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Make Today Awesome.

Would you rather be rich or happy?

Here is an interesting article on the relationship between wealth and happiness, by the Happiness Institute (you can read more of their articles on www.thehappinessinstitute.com). It is written by Dr. Timothy Sharp, who is certainly well-qualified to write about such a subject: he has three degrees in psychology (including a Ph.D.) and an impressive record as an academic, clinician and coach.  He set up one of Sydney’s largest clinical psychology practices (www.makingchanges.com.au), a highly regarded Executive Coaching practice (www.positiveld.com), and is the founder of Australia’s first organisation devoted solely to enhancing happiness in individuals, families and organisations. Have a read, and let it make you think!

–          Quinton

 

Would you rather be rich or happy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Money and wealth or happiness and health? Do you really need to choose? Are they dichotomous or mutually exclusive constructs? I’ve written before and I’m sure I’ll write again about the relationship between money and happiness. Why? Because people keep asking me about it and there are still many myths and misconceptions out there on this topic that are crying out to be busted!

Today, however, I want to focus on just one aspect of this interesting (and necessary) debate…and that’s the ridiculous and false dichotomy that’s often created or assumed within this discussion. To what am I referring? Well, the belief that seems to be held by some that this is an “either – or” decision…that is, I need to choose either money OR happiness!

But even just a few minutes thought should allow anyone to realise this is not a real issue; it’s a false choice and an unhelpful, even absurd question. Because the reality is we can have both, or neither, or a bit of each…

You see money and happiness are barely related. They are related for those at the very lowest end of the socio-economic spectrum. That is, for those struggling to pay their bills and/or put food on the table, for those (for want of a better phrase) who’re below the “poverty” line, then more money will ease their stress and worries and allow for more happiness.

Above and beyond this, however, the relationship becomes minimal. It is there; there is some relationship; and that is that more money doesn’t hurt and may even allow for access to opportunities and health care and education and more, all of which can be good for our health and well being. But the “return on investment” gained from pursuing more and more wealth, once we have “enough” is minimal. And yet we know that so much more can be gained if we pursue or seek other variables such as good quality relationships or physical flourishing (just to cite two examples).

But this is not what many who ask the aforementioned question are thinking. What they seem to be thinking is I must make a choice! Well, yes, we all need to make choices in life and many of these choices are fundamentally important for our happiness and health but the choice is not really between being rich OR being happy! We can have both…if we want. But the point I want to try to make here is that chosing happiness is a separate and different choice altogether…it may or may not lead to or be associated with wealth. It will probably have nothing to do with it because financial choices will require completely different decisions.

So let’s not get these two issues confused; they’re both important issues but they’re both separate issues so let’s give them both the respect they deserve without forcing ourselves to miss out on either. What do you think?

BE THE CEO OF YOU INC.

Just read this brilliant article by world leading business brain, Robin Sharma. Enjoy. 

–          Quinton

DU TELECOM, the upstart telco in Dubai, that in just four years has become truly world-class, brought me in to speak at a special function for a few hundred of their CEO clients. My job was to inspire them, to challenge them and to help them get their leadership genius to its next level of excellence. As I finished, I offered them 6 challenges:

1. GET OUT AND EXPLORE: Extracurricular activities are not a waste of time. The best leaders are interesting people. They pursue passions. They love art. They experience unforgettable travel. And they engage in conversations with fascinating people. This allows them to stay inspired. And hungry. And offers them a steady stream of ideas that actually makes their businesses more successful.

2. LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE WITH THE DIRTIEST HANDS: Want to know what your customers love – and can’t stand – about your business? Listen to the people on the front line. The grocery clerk hears exactly what’s being said about the products on the shelves. The person answering the phone knows what people are most dissatisfied with. The technician gets exactly what needs to be fixed for the brand to grow. Learn to listen to the people who are closest to your customers. The data they carry is priceless.

3. YOU ARE PAID NOT ONLY TO WORK. YOU ARE PAID TO BE SCARED:  It’s easy to do what you do every day until it becomes second nature. But what leadership’s truly about is having the courage to out-think + out-perform who you were yesterday. And that’s scary. Because you need to consistently do what’s uncomfortable. But all growth lies on the outer edges of your comfort zone. Commit to not just doing your work but accepting the challenges that frighten you.

4. HEALTH IS YOUR WEALTH: These were peak-performing CEOs leading 24/7 careers. There was utter silence in the room when I shared this statement: “Health is the crown on the well man’s head that only the ill person can see”. Why be the richest person in the graveyard? And what’s the point of getting to the mountaintop but reaching it sick? Get serious about becoming superfit. Then watch the caliber of your work and the quality of your life fly.

5.  FAMILY FIRST: With children, we have a little window of opportunity. And once it closes, it’s very hard to open it up again. Having a strong family foundation of deep relationships with those you love makes you a more effective businessperson. And who wants to get to the end of your career and realize you’re all alone?

6. BE VALUABLE: Business, to me, is nothing more than a breathtakingly great vehicle to deliver unusual value to as many people as possible. Want to double your sales? Then double the value you bring to your customers. And the whole game of life’s about much of the same thing: contribution. Being of value. Making a difference. No one on their deathbed wished they had made more money. Most of us do wish we have had a greater impact. As a seminar participant in Qatar shared with me: “The measure of the greatness of a person is the length their shadow casts on the future.”

Why do I share the 6 challenges I offered to the CEO crowd with you? Because you are the CEO of your own career and the Leader of your own life. I encourage – and challenge – you to reflect on these ideas and then to act on them with speed. There’s never been a bigger need for leaders in our organizations and within our world. And whether you have a title or not, that need applies to you.

LEADERSHIP QUOTES TO THINK ABOUT 

 “There’s been nothing but discipline, discipline, discipline all my life.” – Celine Dion

 “The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.” – Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon Winner 

 “The average are addicted to leisure. The exceptional are obsessed with learning.” – Robin Sharma on Twitter

“If” – by Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,                    

Or if lied about, you don’t deal in lies,

Or if hated, you don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;             

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by rogues to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,              

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;                    

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,               

Or walk with Kings yet keep the common touch,

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,                     

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – what is more – you’ll be a Man, my son.

SUCCESS – A Simple Life Well Lived

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The businessman scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?” To which the businessman replied, “15-20 years.” “But what then, señor?” The businessman laughed and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.” “Millions, señor? Then what?” The businessman said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?”

-Author Unknown

Greek Heroes: Men of Honour

In The Suppliants, by ancient Greek playwright Euripides, a messenger reports the bravery of five exemplary soldiers who died while trying to take back the captured city of Thebes. All the men who died were not only great warriors, but they lived commendable lives of honour.

**

Hear, then. By granting me the privilege of praising friends, you meet my own desire to speak of them with justice and with truth. I saw the deeds–bolder than words can tell– by which they hoped to take the city.

Look: The handsome one is Capaneus. Through him the lightning went. A man of means, he never flaunted his wealth but kept an attitude no prouder than a poor man’s. He avoided people who live beyond their needs and load their table to excess. He used to say the good does not consist in belly food, and satisfaction comes from moderation. He was true in friendship to present and absent friends. Not many men are so. His character was never false; his ways were courteous; his word, in house or city, was his bond.

Second I name Eteoclus. He practiced another kind of virtue. Lacking means, this youth held many offices in Argos. Often his friends would make him gifts of gold, but he never took them into his house. He wanted no slavish way of life, haltered by money. He kept his hate for sinners, not the city; A town is not to blame if a bad pilot makes men speak ill of it.

Hippomedon, third of the heroes, showed his nature thus: While yet a boy he had the strength of will not to take the pleasures of the Muses that soften life; he went to live in the country, giving himself hard tasks to do, rejoicing in manly growth. He hunted, delighted in horses, and stretched the bow with this hands, to make his body useful to the city.

There lies the son of huntress Atalanta, Parthenopaeus, supreme in beauty. He was Arcadian, But came to Inachus’ banks and was reared in Argos. After his upbringing there, he showed himself as resident foreigners should, not troublesome or spiteful to the city, or disputatious, which would have made him hard to tolerate as citizen and guest. He joined the army like a born Argive, fought the country’s wars, was glad when the city prospered, took it hard if bad times came. Although he had many lovers, and women flocked to him, still he was careful to cause them no offense.

In praise of Tydeus I shall say much in little. He was ambitious greatly gifted, and wise in deeds, not words.

From what I have told you, Theseus, you should not wonder that these men dared to die before the towers. To be well brought up develops self-respect: anyone who has practiced what is good is ashamed to turn out badly. Manliness is teachable. Even a child is taught to say and hear what he does not understand; things understood are kept in mind til old age. So, in like manner, train your children well.