Recognising your Sphere of Influence

28 10 2011

Recent psychology research shows that when you are influential – or at least when you believe you have a decent amount of influence on the people around you – you tend to be happier. Researchers, Drs. Sommer and Bourgeois from Baruch College and Florida Gulf Coast University, clearly showed that the more influential you feel you are, the greater your overall subjective well-being (http://bit.ly/nFTedf). Being influential leads to a sense of worth, feeling in control and a belief that life is purposeful.  Thus, thinking of yourself as influential leads to well-being or happiness. 

 

So if you want to increase your levels of happiness and life satisfaction, how about working on either (1 increasing your influence on those around you, or (2 increasing your awareness of just how much influence you DO already have?

Popular business coach Robin Sharma is famous for saying “we are all leaders, whether we know it or not, and whether we have a title or not”. Most of us do not even begin to comprehend the level of influence we have on the people around us, and the level of impact we can have on our immediate circle of friends / family / loved ones / colleagues, and how that impact can radiate out into the wider world. “Social network” studies have also been conducted on the effects of attitude changes in one person, and how those effects travel from one person to another, often up to three or four ‘degrees of separation’, almost like a virus. So if Johhny becomes very upbeat and positive for a week, his cousin Mark will be more like this too, and pass it on to his girlfriend Nina who also passes it on to her work colleagues, etc.

Given the above, how about trying out a simple exercise. Stop for a moment, get yourself a pen and paper (or a Word document!). Start writing a list of everyone in your ‘inner circle’ – i.e. those you would want at your wedding, those closest to you. And think about their lives, what they are struggling with at the moment, the weaknesses they have, the encouragement they might need. Think about how you could contribute more and better to their lives, and how you could use your closeness to really benefit them. Next, move to your outer circle, and start listing the people who you know but may not be so close to. This will take much longer, so it may be easier to just think about them rather than write them all down. Go through your phone contacts, Facebook friends, and email contacts – that should be a pretty comprehensive overview.

You will probably find you will have 20-40 people in your ‘inner circle’, and 100 – 300 in your outer. How is that for numbers? By sheer volume alone, you can’t deny that no matter who you are or what your position is in life, soceity, the world, YOU HAVE INFLUENCE. If you dramatically changed your behaviour, it is GUARANTEED to have an impact and an influence on the world around you. Everyone has a certain degree of influence – and remember, influence is not all about being able to tell people what to do. It’s about the living reality that if you change your behaviour, or attitude, other people NOTICE and will be affected, whether they want to be or not.

Think about how much influence you have. What potential you have! With great power comes great responsibility. Make a decision today to become more aware, and more proactive, in the way you live and operate in relation to the people around you. You might just be surprised by the effect you can have on your world – and the increased levels of satisfaction, purpose and meaning you can experience as a result 🙂

– Quinton

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You 2.0: On Becoming the Best Version of Yourself

25 10 2011

What would you look like, if you were operating at the top of your game?

  What if the best possible version of you, turned up in the circumstances you are currently in?

What would that ‘best you’ do differently?

The best changes in our life do not come about by happenstance, or luck. They are imposed on our environment from the inside out – they happen when something CHANGES on the inside of us and blasts its way out from our hearts into the world outside. And they are changes that can only be made by us, when we reach that moment when we decide things are going to be different.

Think about some of the most important areas of your life.

Health & Fitness – if a world class athlete (rugby player, Olympic swimmer, bodybuilder) awoke in your body, it is guaranteed that in 6 weeks time your physique would be unrecognisable. Why can’t you do the same thing? Ask yourself, what would that athlete be doing (and MAKING time for) that you aren’t doing now?

 

Business & Career – if Richard Branson or 26 year old Mark Zuckerberg awoke in your body, what do you think your level of success, reputation and impact would be within 1-2 months? Ask yourself what would they be doing differently, and start thinking of how you can DO those things.

 

 

 

 Relationships – how would the BEST version of you operate in your relational sphere? How would that ‘you’ connect to, relate to, and treat your loved ones, friends and family, and even those new people who you want to build relationships with? How would those relationships improve (and how much would your levels of satisfaction and happiness grow) in 1-2 months?

 

  Self-investment – world class people, those who change the planet, are almost without fail, people who invest in themselves. They take (and usually MAKE) the time to reflect, consider their lives and work out what’s going well, what could be improved on, evaluate where they are in relation to where they would like to be, and how they could get closer to that ever-changing goal! The process of growth cannot happen without change, and the best growth comes from change that is self-initiated. Encourage yourself as much as you can by using the resources you have access to – books, CDs and seminars or one or two people you find inspiring to be around.

We all want to be better people. But rather than allowing that vague sense of  ‘you’re doing it wrong’ niggle at you “like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad” (to quote Morpheus from The Matrix), stop ignoring it, and start to pay attention to it and ENGAGE with it. Change can be a scary thing, but if you are willing to consider yourself and where you are at honestly, you will open up the way to move forward. And the world that opens up to those courageous enough to embrace change, is AMAZING.

As a wise man once said, the difference between who you ARE and who you WANT to be, is what you DO.
–          Quinton

 

 





Perseverance & Unrewarded Genius

11 10 2011

Here is an inspiring short thought from business and leadership guru Robin Sharma. Ever had a time when it seemed that no matter how much effort you put into doing something (and doing it well), obstacles constantly blocked your path? Has life – personal or business – ever simply seemed too difficult? Maybe for you that time is now. “Why me?” we ask. “After all I’ve done, now this?” Here’s some encouragement and inspiration to get back to a perspective of perseverance.

–          Quinton

Guts. Boldness. Bravery. Perseverance. Big, beautiful words. That any great person+leader+entrepreneur needs to tattoo onto their brain cells.

Success is much more about staying true to your vision in the face of challenges/obstructions than being gifted or expressing some kind of Genius.

I’d rather have average talent with a fierce heart that inspires me to be unstoppable versus being brilliant – but frightened to do anything with it.

Here’s a quote from Calvin Coolidge that makes my point 1000X better than I could. I hope it helps you Be Great:

“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; there is nothing more common in the world than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Make Today Awesome.





BE THE CEO OF YOU INC.

9 05 2011

Just read this brilliant article by world leading business brain, Robin Sharma. Enjoy. 

–          Quinton

DU TELECOM, the upstart telco in Dubai, that in just four years has become truly world-class, brought me in to speak at a special function for a few hundred of their CEO clients. My job was to inspire them, to challenge them and to help them get their leadership genius to its next level of excellence. As I finished, I offered them 6 challenges:

1. GET OUT AND EXPLORE: Extracurricular activities are not a waste of time. The best leaders are interesting people. They pursue passions. They love art. They experience unforgettable travel. And they engage in conversations with fascinating people. This allows them to stay inspired. And hungry. And offers them a steady stream of ideas that actually makes their businesses more successful.

2. LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE WITH THE DIRTIEST HANDS: Want to know what your customers love – and can’t stand – about your business? Listen to the people on the front line. The grocery clerk hears exactly what’s being said about the products on the shelves. The person answering the phone knows what people are most dissatisfied with. The technician gets exactly what needs to be fixed for the brand to grow. Learn to listen to the people who are closest to your customers. The data they carry is priceless.

3. YOU ARE PAID NOT ONLY TO WORK. YOU ARE PAID TO BE SCARED:  It’s easy to do what you do every day until it becomes second nature. But what leadership’s truly about is having the courage to out-think + out-perform who you were yesterday. And that’s scary. Because you need to consistently do what’s uncomfortable. But all growth lies on the outer edges of your comfort zone. Commit to not just doing your work but accepting the challenges that frighten you.

4. HEALTH IS YOUR WEALTH: These were peak-performing CEOs leading 24/7 careers. There was utter silence in the room when I shared this statement: “Health is the crown on the well man’s head that only the ill person can see”. Why be the richest person in the graveyard? And what’s the point of getting to the mountaintop but reaching it sick? Get serious about becoming superfit. Then watch the caliber of your work and the quality of your life fly.

5.  FAMILY FIRST: With children, we have a little window of opportunity. And once it closes, it’s very hard to open it up again. Having a strong family foundation of deep relationships with those you love makes you a more effective businessperson. And who wants to get to the end of your career and realize you’re all alone?

6. BE VALUABLE: Business, to me, is nothing more than a breathtakingly great vehicle to deliver unusual value to as many people as possible. Want to double your sales? Then double the value you bring to your customers. And the whole game of life’s about much of the same thing: contribution. Being of value. Making a difference. No one on their deathbed wished they had made more money. Most of us do wish we have had a greater impact. As a seminar participant in Qatar shared with me: “The measure of the greatness of a person is the length their shadow casts on the future.”

Why do I share the 6 challenges I offered to the CEO crowd with you? Because you are the CEO of your own career and the Leader of your own life. I encourage – and challenge – you to reflect on these ideas and then to act on them with speed. There’s never been a bigger need for leaders in our organizations and within our world. And whether you have a title or not, that need applies to you.

LEADERSHIP QUOTES TO THINK ABOUT 

 “There’s been nothing but discipline, discipline, discipline all my life.” – Celine Dion

 “The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.” – Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon Winner 

 “The average are addicted to leisure. The exceptional are obsessed with learning.” – Robin Sharma on Twitter





“If” – by Rudyard Kipling

22 02 2011

IF you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,                    

Or if lied about, you don’t deal in lies,

Or if hated, you don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;             

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by rogues to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,              

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;                    

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,               

Or walk with Kings yet keep the common touch,

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,                     

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – what is more – you’ll be a Man, my son.





Self talk – what do YOU say?

18 02 2011

This is a fantastic, thought-provoking poem from the website of Sydney executive & life coaching company Self Talk (website www.selftalk.com.au). Enjoy – and let yourself consider the questions it raises. – Quinton

At every moment, when you’re awake

And sometimes whilst you dream

You are actually talking to yourself

Making sense of what you see

Self talk is your constant interpreter

A part of everything you do

Its made up of what you say to yourself

Yes, it all comes down to you!

So take a minute to reflect

What self talk are you doing now?

Are you setting yourself up for success?

Or mindlessly waning your power?

And if you’ve never taken time

To notice what you’re saying

Take a minute, spend some time

Read on and stop delaying!

Light hearted though this poem may be

Don’t underestimate the theme

Working on yourself is a life-long journey

Coaching can help you build your dreams!





The Voice (of doubt) and what to do with it

16 02 2011