On Dreams, Ruts, and Fear of Change

1 07 2009
Breaking free...

Breaking free...

I recently emailed a good friend to encourage and challenge them to leave a job they have been unhappy with for many months.

As I re-read the email I’d sent, it occurred to me that the message it communicated would apply just as well to any other area of life where you find yourself “stuck” or in a rut. The reality is that the human psyche is often the same across the board – the same fears that hold one person back from changing jobs, hold someone else back from moving overseas, starting a business, leaving a bad relationship, or finally doing that “one thing” they always dreamed of doing. We all get held back at times by fear of the unknown.. fear of failure.. and maybe even fear of success and the criticism or attention it might bring.

I recall a recent discussion with some friends of mine, where someone asked “if accountability is so motivating, why don’t we share our goals and aspirations more?” We concluded that either (1 You fear that your goal / dream might be ridiculed or dismissed by others, so you don’t share it, or (2 You fear that people might be impressed with the goal / dream, but that then you risk embarrassment if you fail to reach it after sharing it openly.

Two vital keys to pursuing your goals & dreams are:

(1. Realise that everyone has goals, dreams and aspirations – you are not alone. Yours may not be the same as everyone else’s, but they are just as important.

(2. Realise that it is human nature to fear change, but you also have the power to act in spite of that fear. I believe the biggest part of overcoming it is recognizing that it is there, acknowledging its power to hold you back if you let it. Consciously choose to master your fear – don’t let your fear master you without you realizing it.

Here is the message I sent my friend. Apply it to yourself (I am doing the same).

Quinton

*** *** ***

This is the voice from the sky that you have been waiting for……… this vital message is not getting through! This message will be there, daring you to act – today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.. until you change your situation!

CHANGE.

DO IT.

DO IT NOW.

You should have done it yesterday, and you know it……. The fact that you haven’t makes you feel bad and powerless…. And you’ll keep feeling that way as long as you are still in the same place.

It WON’T change. The definition of insanity is doing the SAME thing, every day, and expecting different results.

You are not enjoying it, you have NO interest in what you’re wasting endless hours EVERY DAY doing… it is stifling and squashing your awesome personality – and if you do this for long enough, you will lose the capacity to believe in yourself and have faith in your ability to pursue your dreams and achieve your goals.

Change is SCARY and frightening….. you have this amazing personality but a part of that is that you don’t like confrontation, upsetting people or rocking the boat, and will do anything to avoid it if you can. BUT you have to realise that you cannot please everybody, and that everyone has their own lives to worry about – this also includes YOU. No-one else will do it for you. And at the end of the day, other people really don’t care about whether you stay or go – you could stay there for the next FIVE YEARS and no-one would be impressed – people would just think “oh that’s the nice person who has been here for five years”.. while you would be DYING INSIDE wishing you’d chosen differently.

Do you want to still be suffering dutifully, restricted in the same place, in 2014??

No? Ok, how about 2013?

2012? 2011?

No? Then what about 2010???

The time for change is not tomorrow. The time for change is NOW.

To get the right answers, you need to start asking the right QUESTIONS… instead of “Why am I still here”… or “How long till my situation changes”.. you need to ask “What do I need to start doing TODAY to get me to where I want to be TOMORROW (or next month). Start looking!!! Make a plan! One week after you introduce this change, I guarantee that you will be wondering why you didn’t do it sooner, and asking why you put up with that for so LONG! Change is a lot easier than you think it is……… it’s the IDEA of change that is scary. If you can get past that, your possibilities are ENDLESS.

In closing: the difference between who you ARE and who you want to BE, is what you choose to DO.

Quinton

Learn to fly - just because you can

Learn to fly - just because you can

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6 responses

2 07 2009
Ashish Salvi

Hey Quinton,

Really an awesome post I have seen so far. Will share this with my friends 🙂
Thanks a lot for sharing this with us.

Thanks,
Ashish Salvi
http://www.twitter.com/ashishsalvi

12 07 2009
Quinton McCauley

Thanks Ashish!

Awesome, so many people need encouragement, sometimes I think it would surprise us if we knew where people were really at, behind the smiling face we see at the office or in the street…

Here’s to courage and success, and making the world a better place.

Quinton

3 07 2009
psychologyofsuccess

One of things I have picked up over the years is that even in my lowest moments I have been able to bounce back. Quitting a job, changing course, etc., may take away some comforts (initially) but it will always feel better to follow one’s passion in the end.

12 07 2009
Quinton McCauley

Exactly – nothing ventured, nothing gained. And dum spiro, spero – while there’s life, there’s hope! “The best is yet to come”.

Quinton

3 07 2009
Ajay Matharu

Excellent post, well written and so true. The time to act is now, so get started 🙂

12 07 2009
Quinton McCauley

Thanks Ajay! Absolutely, starting now is half the battle!

Quinton

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