9 Ways To Deal With People Who Bother You

14 09 2010

Everyone has faced someone that has bothered them at some point in life. Sometimes we can deal with them, and sometimes we need a little help. Lifehack.org provided this blog on how best to deal with such people and such situations.

They might be business associates, colleagues, friends, or even family members and relatives but whoever they are, we need to learn how to manage them and our feelings towards them. Here are 9 top tips:

1. You can only change yourself: Always remember that it’s not about changing others, but about changing yourself and how you deal with the situation. You can try to change others, but it probably won’t work. What will work is changing your reaction to that person or situation and your perception of it.

2. Draw your boundaries: Clarify what you will and won’t tolerate and then stick with it. It is of utmost importance to protect yourself and your personal space and to be clear on what behaviour is or isn’t acceptable. If you don’t do so, it’s easy for you to be pushed around and end up feeling miserable.

3. Be upfront about where you stand: People aren’t mind readers. They may not even be aware that they are upsetting you. Give off some signs that you are not happy with the situation. And if you do have to deal with them, be clear how much time you have for them. Or cut the face to face communication and deal with the person via text or email.

4. Be firm when needed: Stand your ground! If the person continues to upset you, draw the line right there. Be strong and push back. Be firm on your boundaries and you will find yourself a lot happier and more content.

5. Ignore them: Responding to this person pretty much affirms their behaviour and gives them a reason to continue doing what they’re doing. Ignoring it is sometimes the best option and they’ll have to seek find someone else to pester!

6. Don’t take it personally: Most of the time, these people behave the same way around others too so don’t think that it is because of you. Growing to realise that the behaviour does not relate personally to you will help you deal with the person themselves.

7. Observe how others handle them: Watching how other people deal with the same person you have issues with is a great way to work out how to deal with the situation. Take a back seat by broaching a topic that’s relevant between the two of them and play the silent role in the situation. You will get interesting results.

8. Show kindness: A lot of the time, the person you are having trouble with behaves the way they do because they just want someone to listen to them. Why not try hearing what they have to say and be sympathetic. Don’t impose on them, but just be there and empathise. It might just do the trick.

9. Help them: Last but not least, reach out a hand. As well as giving them a listening ear, check with them if they need any help, or if there is anything you can do to help them. Help them to uncover their problem but fix it for themselves so that they don’t pester you or rely on you to be around.

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